Spiraling Forward
“Let’s go girls/ Come on” Shania Twain, Man! I Feel Like A Woman
Listen! Words are great, but voices are better. Press play and give your eyes a break.
Have you ever noticed how some friendships feel like they’re meant to be temporary, while others seem to stretch across time and space?
Recently, a friend and I were talking about friendship and how some people are meant to be part of your life for a period, some are meant to come and go, and the seemingly rare friendships that stand the test of time and space.
We were reflecting on friendships that had ended and what that looked like for both of us. I realized I’d never had a friendship that ended badly. I’ve never understood or stood for drama. It’s something that’s always felt like a waste of time and energy. The people I’ve had at different points in my life have added meaning without always needing permanence.
I think that’s what keeps people stuck in relationships of any kind: this idea that relationships have to look one way. That there’s a straight line from beginning to end, from meeting to forever. But life, and connection, is rarely linear.
A friend in undergrad and I talked about this idea of life moving in a spiral. She said she learned about a concept in a psychology class that had her thinking about how people plan their lives with this linear vision, but what if it was really a spiral.
It made so much sense. Life moves in spirals; it circles and revisits old places with a new perspective, adding layers of understanding with each turn. Some friendships return, transform; some leave traces that shape who we become; and some simply pass through, leaving space for the next chapter. The beauty is in recognizing that each encounter, no matter its duration, contributes to the fullness of the story.
The path of my friend with the spiraling life lesson was left in the years of undergrad in Boston, and that friendship was meant to pass through that time of my life. It didn’t end with anything dramatic; in fact, I don’t recall a friendship of mine that ever has. She just became a part of that chapter that shaped me.
My life has been anything but a straight line. I think of the time I wasted worrying about the chapters of my life that were seemingly endless spirals that didn’t align with the bullet-pointed expectations society places on the trajectory of a person’s life. It’s what’s put such pressure on generations to fit their becoming into neat timelines, who you should be by when, what should last forever, and what “counts.”
I don’t know one person who wouldn’t say their life hasn’t been a spiral. That one twist and turn of fate hasn’t led them down unexpected paths, for better or worse. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or health, we’re all just spiraling until we circle back or spiral toward something new.
I spent a lot of time concerned that my career was trapped in a vortex of a spiral timeline that wouldn’t get me where I envisioned my goals taking me. The last few months have shown me just how lucky I am to be blissfully engulfed in that very vortex. I’ve been afforded an opportunity that no timeline could’ve predicted.
While visiting for Thanksgiving, my Mom gave my sister and me some of the Hallmark ornaments my late grandmother had gifted us growing up. We came across several plastic bins filled with my childhood memories. I was able to downsize them and came across many things I’d long forgotten.
One in particular was a time capsule I’d filled when I was ten years old. Inside were treasures of that time period for which I have no context for why I put them in that cardboard tube, but there was a small square of paper that prompted me to fill out future goals, favorite things, and who my best friend was.
There were two names, one I texted a photo of the small square of paper, and the other I haven’t spoken to in well over fifteen years. The last prompt of the square was, “When I grow up I want to be,” and in sloppy cursive I scribbled, “a lawyer.”
I turned to my sister, laughed, and said, “You’re not going to believe this.”
I did not become a lawyer, but I did earn a law degree and become what ten-year-old me never could’ve imagined. She never could have imagined the meetings we sat in just four days before I found the paper with her dream scribbled in lead.
I texted that square of paper to a few people. Several friends have found themselves captured in my spiral. They’ve been part of what has felt like a dream opportunity, too good to be true. They’re the kind of friends that show up for you, cheer you on, that don’t need to compete. Some are married, some are single, some have children, and some are devoted to building their careers. Each of them is part of my spiral, throwing confetti and screaming at the top of our lungs when goals are achieved. No matter how big or small.
They are the ones who remind you that life isn’t a straight line—that it twists, turns, and surprises in ways you couldn’t plan. They are the ones who show up when the spiral feels dizzying, who celebrate every small victory as if it were monumental, and who make the journey feel lighter and brighter.
Those are the people you want in your spiral.
That time capsule was meant to have been opened over a decade before I found it over Thanksgiving. But, that’s the thing about spiraling in a vortex: you return to moments, people, and dreams exactly when you’re meant to, with new perspective, gratitude, and clarity. The spiral may take its time, but it always finds its way.
LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING! Each week, I’ll share some questions at the end of my post– leave your thoughts in the comments, scribble them in your journal that week, or debate them with your dog (who is, of course, always on your side). Bonus points (which exist only in our hearts) if you drop a question this post made you think of in the comments below!
Who in your life cheers for you like a personal hype squad?
Name a friendship that passed through your life but left a permanent mark.
Have you ever drifted from a friend and returned stronger?
Which friend is secretly plotting your next adventure… whether you like it or not? (She knows exactly who she is…we have a shared folder :D)
ADD TO PLAYLIST! Every post includes a music lyric to set the tone for that week. Music has been an important part of my journey, and I hope these songs are added to yours. I’ve bundled them into a Spotify playlist because reading is better when it has a soundtrack.
“Let’s go girls/ Come on” Shania Twain, Man! I Feel Like A Woman
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Absolutely love this one! And so very proud of you! 🙌